Those Damn Pantsu
by Sassassassin
Summary: Both anime fans, Natsu and Lucy decide to write their own anime on chat, sentence by sentence. That's until Lucy has a tongue-keyboard slip that reveals something interesting... [NaLu]
_Hello, I decided to take advantage of my last weekend of freedom and write a funny little short story. I was actually just fooling around, but I hope you guys have a fun time reading it like I did._

 _I was actually watching a video that gave me this idea, and I thought it was a really good one._

 _Leave a review!_

* * *

 _You can start, Natsu. Do you have an idea?_

You're the writer here, you go ahead.

 _Alright_.

 _There once was a girl…_

Why would it be a girl? I want it to be a boy!

 _Because all anime main characters are boys! I want to change it up a bit._

Fine! She was an ugly old hag who lived all alone.

… _She was actually very pretty, but preferred to hide her beautiful face, because she was a princess who fled an arranged marriage with an ugly, rich, and old man. She didn't want to be miserable because of her father forcing her to do it. So she ran away, looking to build a better life, and hid from her father's guards._

One day, she was walking down the street, when she bumped into a guy. He was handsome, the most handsome guy in the whole country, and he was so muscular. But what she didn't know is that he was the strong and amazing Salamander who controlled fire.

(And his dad was also a dragon.)

 _He had ugly pink hair, and a tragic backstory, as usual._

HIS HAIR WAS ACTUALLY SALMON, AND HE WAS PROUD OF IT.

 _His hair was PINK, and he destroyed everything around him with his STUPID fire. But they quickly became friends. She could tame him down a bit, and he could protect her from her pursuers. He took her to his guild, where a lot of wizards lived together in harmony and defeated bad guys, and she found a lot of friends there who made her really happy. She never had friends before, and she was grateful for how her life turned out to be. She was very scared of running away at the beginning, but she was glad she did it._

They became the strongest team in the whole guild, with the scary Erzarion (she was a monster), and Natsimono's (that was actually the Salamander's name) biggest rival, Grayson the stripping icicle.

 _One day, they were fighting a strong villain._

Natsimono defeated him with one single fire punch. The girl lost all her clothes, and Natsimono fell into her boobs. I mean they were flying everywhere!

They were huge.

Super big and soft.

 _SHE HIT HIM ON THE HEAD BECAUSE HE WAS A HUGE PERVERT._

But she forgave him, because she actually loved the attention her gave her.

 _What she didn't know is that he was very in love with Princess Lucille. Why wouldn't he be? She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, and she was very nice and loyal to her friends. He couldn't stop his heart from beating fast every time he saw her._

He only LIKED her as a FRIEND because she had a super big and comfy bed that he would sneak in at night to sleep. Also her boobs, they were big, and he could use them as a pillow.

 _She hit him every time he sneaked into her bed, because it wasn't PROPER for a man like him to sleep in the same bed as a LADY. She threatened to tell her friend Erzarion, who would beat him up if she knew that he was abusing her hospitality for his own selfish and perverse needs._

After they've been friends for a while, there was some trouble. They had to defeat the strongest enemy ever. Natsimono's brother, Zerefin, was threatening the peace.

 _I didn't know you saw your brother as such a nuisance Natsu._

You would be surprised Lucy, he's evil! Don't be fooled by his smile. He's hiding dark things.

 _Whatever, let's continue. What they didn't know was that Natsimono was actually centuries old, and was one of Zerefin's demons! Yep, he was a demon. Which explained why he destroyed everything and why he was so stupid._

Being stupid has nothing to do with being a demon!

 _In this case, yes._

Fine! Natsimono fought with everything he had. He had a huge fire sword that sliced everything in its way, and Zerefin was no exception.

 _It was a very impractical and huge sword, because physics don't exist._

…Okay no sword then. He just used his fiery fists, he could make fire from any part of his body. Lucille didn't do anything, because she was weak, so she just stayed on the side and cried for Natsimono.

 _BUT he didn't know that she was a lot stronger that she looked! She could summon spirits from the spirit world, it was a special magic that her mother passed on to her after she died._

She used spirits because she couldn't fight on her own. She was very weak.

 _She needed a lot of magic to summon them, and she actually could pack a mean punch. She also had a special attack. Her Lucille-kick could destroy anyone. And Natsimono knew it, being on the receiving end because of his idiocy._

Lucille wore very skimpy clothes, and every time she jumped to do her special kick…

OOPS PANTY SHOT.

 _NATSU!_

What? That's exactly how anime goes!

 _You're gross!_

Haha!

Zerefin was finally defeated, and peace came back to the country.

 _And Natsimono learned about the magic of friendship, just in like every anime._

Natsimono was stronger than ever, and Princess Lucille would faint every time she looked at his bulky muscles.

 _It was actually because Natsu was too hot._

 _NATSIMONO* WAS TOO HOT._

Hell yeah, his body was so hot she couldn't resist!

 _Because of his fire you idiot, his fire made his body temperature too high, and it affected her and made her dizzy, hence why she fainted every time. Natsimono was too dense to realize it. He thought she fainted because he was handsome (which he totally wasn't), and he was happy because he was deeply in love with her._

Because she had big boobs.

 _Because she was an amazing woman who was too good for him! And he was scared to tell her because he knew she would reject his stupid ass. She was too pretty to date a rash and impulsive man like him who knew nothing about romance and was clueless about her feelings, because she was actually deeply in love with his stupid face and his amazing body, she even loved his beautiful pink hair and the way his eyes would shine every time he smiled and it made her heart leap into her throat!_

…

Are we still talking about anime here?

 _I don't want to do this anymore._

Lucy?

Are you still there?

 _Lucy Heartfilia is offline._

For your information, Natsimono was deeply in love with Lucille as well, and he was going to her house after a stupid argument over a story to kiss her senseless.

 _Lucy Heartfilia is online._

 _Natsu? Why are you throwing rocks at my window?_

I told you! The dragon has come to kiss the princess silly.

 _Oh my God._

That's exactly what you're going to call me when I'm done with you. Now open the window.

 _Natsu! I can see your stupid face behind the glass. Did you climb all the way up here? Get down, you're going to fall and break your neck!_

Why don't you open the window before I do? I think I'm losing my grip. It's hard to type at the same time.

 _Lucy Heartfilia is offline._

 _Lucy Heatfilia is online._

 _You forgot your phone at my house last night._

 _Oh my God I'm so stupid, how is he going to see this._

I told you that you would call me like that after the night we spent together.

Also you know that I have a computer too right? We're not texting, it's online.

 _You're lucky my dad didn't catch you when you sneaked out this morning. Come get your phone now._

How about you give it to me tonight, I'm taking you out on a date. Be ready by 7.

 _Okay_.


End file.
